Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
