he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
