just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
