you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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