I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize