Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
