whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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