Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
