There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
