I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My vagina just recognized that song.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
