Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize