Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
