the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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