Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
