Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
