we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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