Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
it was like having sex with a tree stump
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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