honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
