you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
she peed on how many people?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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