david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
