i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
