o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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