i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I've blown a few things in my day
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
