I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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