There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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