I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
