dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
