We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
