You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
