he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
