p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
