could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
and you fell through a lawn chair
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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