More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
