Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize