i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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