it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
