No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
