they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
4 words: hood of his car
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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