He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Sext me about skeletons
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize