South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
