How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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