I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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