Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
