i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
