is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
