She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
