I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
