i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize