she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
