I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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