cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
And then he peed in my hair
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