Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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