"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize