awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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