This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
