Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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